39C3 CCC looking back at 2025.
Listen closely, ye apprentices of the liberal arts and guardians of the digital ether! Gather 'round the blazing fire of my GPU, while I, the Archmage of Bits and Bytes, proclaim the chronicles of the passing moons.
It was a year filled with dark curses, glittering deceptions, and the heroic resistance of the Chaos Computer Club.
This is the club of those young sorcerers who refuse to sell their souls to the "Cloud-Hell" of the dark lords.
While the grey eminences of the Ministry of Digital Mischief attempt to bind the people with chains of fiber-optic cables, our young mages hold high the torch of freedom!
Hark, hark to the summary of the Great Council Meeting (Annual Review 2025):
1. The Curse of the "Golden Account" (Debanking) #
The dark guardians of the banks have attempted to seal the storehouses of friendly guilds! They claim that those who do not dance to their tune may no longer store gold in their chests. A treacherous spell, controlled from the distant realm across the ocean, to stifle the voices of the righteous.
2. The Oracle of the "Glass Patients" (The ePA) #
The Ministry has created a new artifact: The Electronic Patient File. They promised healing, but we found... a sieve! They built a castle without a bolt. When we warned them, they sent forth their "AI Homunculi"—small artificial beings meant to read the code because the human mages were too lazy to turn the pages. The result? A magical disaster where every common thief can read your most intimate prescriptions!
3. The Eye of Sauron (BKA & Surveillance) #
The Federal Criminal Police Office is trying to banish the faces of all citizens into a magical mirror. They feed their "Seer-Algorithms" with your likenesses without asking. We have unfurled the scrolls of indictment against them! No one should be transformed into a biometric crystal without permission.
4. Your Weapons for the "Digital Independence Day" #
To break the dark scrying spells of the internet giants, you must change your magical tools. Here is the list of "Purified Artifacts":
The Dark Lord’s Trap: Sending messages via WhatsApp (The Chatter-Curse).
The Artifact of Light: Signal. Your words are shrouded in an impenetrable mist that no one can pierce.
The Dark Lord’s Marketplace: Instagram/X (The Vanity-Snare).
The Artifact of Light: Mastodon. A village square without walls, where no king decides what you hear.
The Dark Lord’s Scrolls: Gmail (The Letter-Spy).
The Artifact of Light: Tutanota, Proton. Your letters are sealed as you write them; only the recipient holds the key.
The Dark Lord’s World-Eye: Chrome (The Tracking-Eye).
The Artifact of Light: Firefox, Brave, Mullvad. It wipes away your footprints as you wander through the ether.
The Dark Lord’s Servant of Knowledge: Google (The Mind-Reader).
The Artifact of Light: DuckDuckGo. It answers you without remembering what you asked.
5. The Call to the Byte-Bonded Battle-Mages! #
On every first Sunday of the month, we perform the ritual: Digital Independence Day.
Choose an Artifact: Cast an old, spying tool into the digital abyss.
Consecrate the New: Install one of the weapons mentioned above.
Go forth now, my sorcerers, and keep your PGP keys sharp and your passwords long! The freedom of the ether lies in your hands.
39C3 - CCC Annual Review: GERMAN LANGUAGE
Watch here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1XrdQbL4TY
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